Your guide to swinging
Safe & Respectful Swinging - Some Helpful Hints
One of the best things about our lifestyle is that most of us relate to each other with understanding, thoughtfulness and common courtesy; just as we ourselves wish to be treated.
So whether you are serious swingers or thinking about dipping a toe in to explore swinging, here are some helpful tips for responsible and respectful swinging.
1. BE COURTEOUSBe aware that some people will have insecurities and uncertainties. So, be kind and thoughtful. In essence, courtesy is our treating people the way we want to be treated ourselves.
2. BE FRIENDLY
Whether or not you are personally interested in swinging with someone, be polite. You never know, you may share many other interests or you may meet that person again, and they may introduce you to someone with whom you ARE compatible and do wish to share time.
3. GO PREPARED
Take whatever you personally are going to need with you.
Nothing turns a person off faster and more effectively than an unclean body or un-fresh breath. Even if you shower and perfume yourself before you leave home, it is always a good idea to freshen up again when you arrive at your destination. It is amazing what time to drive somewhere, stop for a bite, or whatever, can do or rather undo.
5. RESPECT OTHERS FEELINGS
Beware, not everyone is comfortable in all situations, Keep your eyes open for signs that your partner, as well as others, is relaxed and enjoying themselves. If someone is not comfortable, try helping them over the rough spots. Remember, you were a beginner once yourself. If it is obvious that things are not working out, remain polite and courteous; but alert the host. Keep in mind that not all people feel the same about things.
6. DON’T BE PUSHY
If you are interested in swinging with someone, let them know in an inviting way; if they are interested, they will respond positively. If they are not and say “No, thank you,” do not ask why. No amount of sweet talk or coercion on your part will change their mind and will probably work against you. Everyone has the right to say no at all times, to anyone, without explanation.
7. ONLY DO WHAT IS FUN FOR YOU
Do not allow yourself to become sexually involved with anybody that you are not interested in. There is no reason to involve yourself in a scene that you are not comfortable with. You are in the lifestyle to enjoy yourself, so only do what you want, when you want and with whom you want.
8. HOW AND WHY TO SAY NO
One of the basic etiquettes in swinging is the right of anyone to say no. Experience has taught most people that everybody is not right for everybody else. Improper handling of a situation, can however lead to a lot of hurt or bad feelings. The swinging world accepts the premise that everyone has the right to say no to anyone at anytime and it should be done with a simple, “No, thank you”. Never give an explanation, because that is what usually causes any problems. If you try to join in a group already playing, be aware that the person may not be in a position to say no. In these circumstances watch body language – if the person you touch pulls away, they mean don’t touch, your persistence will be unwelcome. If the person responds positively then join in and enjoy.
9. ALCOHOL OR DRUGS
Most of us do not use drugs, although some of us drink socially. At times, a few drinks are nice to help you relax. Over indulging may hamper your physical abilities, as well as offend or turn other people off to you. If you have to over indulge in order to participate in swinging, you are involved in the wrong lifestyle.
10. PRACTICE SAFER SEX
It is up to us to protect ourselves as well as our partners. With the present concern over sexually transmitted diseases the use of condoms should not offend anybody.
11. CALL TO SAY THANKS
Lost seems to the social habit of a ‘Thank You Note’ or phone call to someone whose hospitality you enjoyed. It means a lot to most people, and they will surely remember you when planning their next event. Don’t you like to be thanked?
12. ENJOY YOURSELF
Most important, have a good time, act out your fantasies, explore your own sexuality and enjoy everything this lifestyle has to offer with enthusiasm, laughter and a positive attitude.
13. RELAX and GET ACQUAINTED
When at an on-premise club or swing house party, you are there to have the best of times and to share the uninhibited enjoyment associated with those who have discovered a new dimension in their lifestyles. Once you have become familiar with the surroundings and staff members or host/hostess, try to become as at ease as you would be at any other social gathering. Don’t hesitate to introduce yourselves to other people. You’ll find them eager to welcome you and to help you blend into their circle of sincere camaraderie.
14. SOME TIPS ON ETIQUETTE
While you are advised to be congenial and outgoing, don’t be pushy. Many couples who are new to swinging often have unrealistic expectations and are struggle to handle rejections that may sometimes occur. Freshly showered, perfumed, and neatly dressed people make more contacts. Don’t let your personal physical idiosyncrasies stop you from having a good time. No one is perfect [although it is common for new swingers to see others as more attractive or more verbal as themselves]. Don’t let your own mind be your worst enemy. Be prepared to handle rejection but don’t take it personally.
There are several variations to “swinging” and it is important that you and your mate decide, in advance, those which you like and dislike. Some couples prefer to be alone, while others prefer to be with other couples. Establish your own ground rules, but please decide on them before you start “swinging”.
15. JOIN THE CONVERSATION
Some people will probably “break the ice” by introducing themselves, along with other couples they know. It’s their way of making you feel at home. Feel free to join their conversation and you’ll find that most of them will be happy to answer any questions you may have about the swinging lifestyle. Be open and honest. Tell them that you are new to “swinging” and you’ll discover how helpful people can be.
16. START OFF ON THE RIGHT FOOT
On your first venture into the swinging scene, you may feel somewhat uneasy about seeing your mate with someone else. Some swingers want to share swinging with their mate and feel uneasy having their mate leave to another room with someone. Everyone has their own reasons for their feelings and all feelings are real and should be respected. To avoid embarrassment or disillusionment discuss your inhibitions with your mate beforehand. Both of you may be more comfortable after talking to other couples and learning how they handled their first “swinging” session.
Some swingers’ clubs do have private rooms for those couples who may be a little shy or prefer to be on their own. If you are at a club or private partyy and using a private room remember that there may be another couple on the premises who have the same feelings so please if you do use this room please be fair and don’t keep the room to yourself for the whole duration of the evening.
Firstly you could join this website and find thousands of people who enjoy the same thing as you.
You could join a swingers’ club and get chatting to people while you are there.
Importantly though, get your own guidlines together. What you are looking for and then you will quickly realise that you have a lot in commen with most people who love the swinging lifestyle
It is important to chat to people first, if you are considering going to meet someone at their place ensure someone else knows where you are going and the time you will be expected to return home.
Get your ground rules in place ensuring the other party understands.
But to be safe it’s advisable to meet in a public place on your first meet.
Happy, Safe, Swinging
This depends on what you are looking for. You could perhaps join this website and meet others who are interested in the same as you. You may want to meet in the privacy of your own home, or maybe a hotel. A lot of people meet in a swingers’ club. This would be a neutral place in view of the fact if the person or persons you have chosen to meet if for whatever reason you decide you’re not compatible you can just chat and chill
We have a full country wide list of swingers’ clubs so join up and find one nearest to you.
We would ALWAYS advise people enjoying casual sex to use protection.